Jesus Christ! Just wait till you see what I’m gonna steal from Chickpea tomorrow! Oh, sorry, friend, I got a little too excited there. So as y’all know, I’m Coco the Caterpillar and I love stealing from the cruel King Chickpea the Chicken every December during his birthday. Remember last year when I stole his diamond ring? That was epic! Oh boy, I got 10,000 chicks from selling that. What a fortune! I just did my usual after that. 5,000 chicks went to the donations and the rest ran into my Caterbank account. That’s basically like a human bank except they’re for caterpillars. But last year’s gone, so it’s time to focus on tomorrow’s theft.
So, as I was saying, guess what I’m stealing this year! You ready? One… two… three… a whole truck full of chicken, the size of 5 double-decker buses! It’s used to transport Chickpea’s food and ship chicken to distant places. But for a caterpillar like me, it’s a free supply of heavenly chicken that’ll last me my whole life! The interior of the truck’s like a whole factory! There’re huge boards explaining how to cook chicken, glass walls, rooms with gigantic machines cooking chicken, and anything you’d ever think of, from a TV to a royal bedroom! Basically, if you dream of something, it’s in that truck! Imagine that! No cooking at all! I can just jump right in and have any kind of chicken.
But, of course, we need a plan. So the truck is in the storage section of the throne room. I’m gonna dress up like a cook and confront the king, telling him that a city faraway needs a supply of chicken wings, and I’ll ask him for permission to take the truck and deliver the chicken wings. The moment he says yes, I’ll make the machines cook chicken wings, sit in the truck, and the moment he calls his servants to check on the truck, I’ll set that baby to full speed and race outta the place! So, ish, tvelv ay em, tiem, ter, jeta, gud, zleep, neet ter wek, ap, et wun ay em …..ZZZZZZZZZZZ…….
[1 hour later] Oh jeez, do I have to wake up? I just slept an hour. Oh yeah, I need to steal from Chickpea. I’m so excited! So, you know the plan. I’m gonna go till the sign and eat my way through the chicken gate. See you there!
[10 minutes later] I’m there! Just kidding. I’m on my way there.
[15 minutes later] Yes! I’ve got the chicken truck! Heaven is mine! Yeah, I’m joking again, I just spotted the sign.
[16 minutes later] Oh, there’s the gate. Aw, COME ON! The gorillas are awake! I’m unlucky this time. Whatever, I can manage. Shhhhhhh!
[1 minute later] Okay, I’ve got my chef costume, and here’s the king’s room. Wish me luck!
[30 seconds later] Hello, your Majesty. There’s a big shipping deal for a thousand flaming chicken wings in a faraway city. Ca-….
“Bound to be Darcatros, ain’t it?” interrupted Chickpea. “That place loves flamin’ chicken wings but nearly always asks us to ship them huge loads. So how many wings? A thousand, you say? Jesus, they haven’t asked us for this many since 1346. Who cares! They probably have some really special event, like their kingdom turning 1000 years old. Oh yeah, that’s the one! Anyways, yeah, you can take the truck.”
Thanks your Majesty. I’ll just get going.
[5 minutes later] Okay, I’m in the truck, and the machines are forming chicken wings like mad. I think they’ve made like 798 flaming chicken wings in just a few minutes! Well, one more minute to go!
[1 minute later] This is the biggest moment of the year, I finally race outta the place with a giant chicken truck! Just one more step to heaven! Three…. two…. one… KABLAM! Oh my FREAKING BANANAS! How can a truck the size of this one hit a hundred miles per hour?!
Oh, jeez, narrowly missed smashing into the royal feast table! AAAAAAHHHHH! Heads up! We’re heading straight for a giant painting! CRASH!
Oh, come on, the whole army’s on my tail now! Boom! Bang! Smash! Bash! Shhhffff! Clurk!
YES! I’m finally out! OH CURSE YOU, CHICKPEA! He’s brought in the big weapons! Looks like he’s improved his skills. Finally he’s becoming a worthy opponent to steal from.
Okay, so nothing sus, he’s just aiming a HUNDRED GIANT FLAMING CHICKEN WINGS SMOTHERED IN RANCH AND BUFFALO SAUCE FOR EVERY SQUARE METER. SPOOLSH! Oh, there goes the first wing. Does he have to dirty up this amazing truck?
Oh, watch out, there come nine more! GLURP! Oh no, here’s comes a big one! SPURK! KLAT! WURRRRRRRRRRR!!!! (yeah, the last sound was me) That one broke through and smacked me right in the forehead!
Oh god, another biggie! SPURK! KLAT! AUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!! SMASH! Man, that one hit me straight in stomach and sent me tumbling into the control board!
[10 minutes later] WHYYYYYYYY?????????? He’s sending chicken wing cannons from underground now! Here comes the first one! BAM! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, I didn’t see that coming! That thing blasted the truck like a hundred meters in the air! Wait, we’re coming down! Brace for impact! Guard your ears! KKKKKAAAAABBBBBLLLLLAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!
Jesus, what a shockwave! I felt like I was in a rocket for a second, with everything floating in the air, including me. Well we’re lucky to land on the wheels.
Whew, this chicken’s getting tough. But the important thing is that I’ve got the truck now. Chickpea can send other big chicken packages to other places in cars and stuff, but he just wanted to get a little too fancy with the truck. He also can make his cooks prepare him chicken. Whereas I, on the other hand, have to work tirelessly for hours just to make a few pieces of chicken the way I like. Now I can also ship chicken to creatures in need and make them happy as well.
[1 hour later] Okay, I’ve reached home. And they can’t get past my security system. This one is way better than Chickpea’s, it’s a huge unbreakable titanium wall with a security passcode. So by the slightest chance, if someone cracks the code, there’s a huge plain room with a hundred booby traps that’ll snap out at any moment. Only if I recognize this as a good creature, like one of my friends, or the mailman, or the pizza man, for example, the booby traps won’t go off. And if they can get past this, which they probably won’t, the moment they open the door to the other room, a huge fan blast sends them flying to the beginning of the system behind the wall.
Okay, finally its time to see the truck’s exterior! (I couldn’t see it clearly when I stole it because the storage room was dark.) WOW! What a truck! Actually, I’ll have to give Chickpea some credit for making this truck so cool! When he blasted chicken wings at me, they dyed this thing in an awesome red and brown pattern.
Oh, that reminds me, he also broke the truck a little. I’ve got some work to do! To be continued………………